My 1st Marathon

Cowtown Marathon Recap
2.24.13

When almost eight months ago I decided to take on the task of training for and running a marathon I honestly had no idea what I was getting myself into. I knew that it wouldn't be easy, I knew it would take time away from my family and call for me to dig and tap into places in myself I was skeptical if they even existed. So it was with a great deal of apprehension that I set out to accomplish something that many people believe to be one of the greatest test of physical endurance that 'normal' (although most definitely insane) people can attack.

My training was exciting for the most part. I enjoyed the runs around the neighborhood throughout the week and I could feel myself getting stronger with each run. I especially looked forward to the long training runs with friends and exploring parts of Denton that I rarely find myself in. There were a few setbacks in my training I had to shut down for about a week or so thanks to a bum Achilles tendon/ankle injury but I was able to stay on the bike at the gym and not lose too much fitness in the process. I had fun testing out different nutritional combinations before my runs and just the fact of telling people that I was training for a marathon because people look at you differently when you tell them that (I think they're really sizing you up to see just how crazy you are).

The plan originally was to run the Metro PCS Dallas Marathon December 6, but thanks to a freak ice storm that we had roll through that all got cancelled so I had to re-rack and adjust my training to prep for the Cowtown Marathon in Fort Worth 2.23.14. It was a disappointing reality but one that I was excited to add a little wrinkle to my marathon story.

The day before the race I was filled with excitement and nervous energy. John and I went and picked up our packets and the energy was electric in the expo I got to talk to lots of first timers just like myself and there is a mutual respect among runners that I haven't found in any other group I've ever been a part of. I believe that it has something to do with knowing that in a matter of hours we're all going to be in the same boat fighting the same demons and pushing our bodies beyond their limits and that is the great equalizer.

Race morning I got up at 4am, dressed, ate a little something and hit the shuttle from the hotel to the starting corrals. I was still feeling very confident, strong and excited. The energy and excitement just continued to grow for me as more and more people showed up. I think there was close to fifteen thousand people there at the start and I had never been a part of a group of people that large at one time fighting for the same thing; completion. There were people talking about desires for PR's and qualifying for Boston. For me the goal was step across that finish line, little did I know the cost that goal would require. They shot off the starting gun and it took my corral about 25 minutes to actually start the race. I started out strong and felt great. I had the awesome privilege of running with my high school band director's wife, Mrs. Audrey Staniszewski, for the first 10 miles as she was running her 7th half marathon. It wasn't until mile 14 or 15 that I began to realize that this was going to be a much more difficult task than I had originally anticipated. I began to feel the miles in my legs and my feet and the group had thinned out quite a bit so I didn't have nearly as many people to talk to as I normally did on my long training runs. I began praying for my second wind to come and for relief from some of the pain.

Mile 16 marked the beginning of the mental darkness that so many runners talk about. I began having negative messages over-flooding my mind telling me that I can't finish this and that in reality I should've never started. I had to dig deep and find a resolve that I never knew I had and remember why I was doing this in the first place; Hawkins. I was carrying my Team Beads of Courage beads which I touched many times throughout the race as well as a bracelet that I always wear with Hawk's name on it and just kept remembering my little man. There were times where I had to call Sarah and just hear an encouraging voice reminding me why I'm doing this and to tell me that I can and will finish this because I'm strong enough. I also called a buddy of mine Troy who reminded me to keep breathing and breath the pain out and away which was a great help. All that got me down the road to mile 21.

Mile 22 I was dehydrated and my blood sugar had bottomed out. I was in a very bad place, and physically I thought I might have to call it.  I had developed the habit of constantly looking behind me just to make sure that I wasn't the last person on the course and it seemed like every time I did I was staring at the next person that would pass me. When I got to the aid station at mile 23 I asked the volunteers if I was the last one and they said that I couldn't be because the 'sag-wagon' wasn't right behind me so that offered me some comfort that I only had 3 miles to go and there were still people behind me, but I still didn't know where I was going to come up with the energy and strength to fight through the pain and fatigue. It was about that time that some SUV came buzzing past me honking the horn and my first thought was "what kind of jerk is honking at me while I'm on the verge of needing a defibrillator and a fifth of whiskey" then I realized it was Ryan Martin. He jumped out of his car and as soon as he got close enough to me I gave him a massive bear hug. I was just happy to see a familiar face, but I was blown away when he told me that he was going to run the last 3 miles with me. It was nice to have someone to share the time and distance with and I honestly don't know how I would've finished if I would've had to finish on my own.

Over the next 3 miles Ryan and I fought through exhaustion, dehydration, blisters and foot pain. It was great having a distraction and sharing my highs and lows over the last 23 miles. There was one point around mile 25 after taking a quick walk break it felt like someone stabbed me in the ball of my right foot and I really couldn't walk anymore so Ryan and I decided we'd just run/slow job it in the rest of the way.

At the turn into the parking lot where the the finish line was Sarah, Murel and Hawkins waiting for me and cheering me on. I can't put into words how glad I was to see them and to know that I would soon be finishing my 26.2 miles. I turned the corner and there it was, what I had been working all day toward; the finish line. I made it across the line and the feeling of accomplishment and relief was indescribable. I accomplished something that I never thought I could, something so many people told me I shouldn't, but I did it.

I have never depleted my body to that point or felt fatigue that severe. I learned so many things about myself and life that I'm sure I'll be unpacking for a long time. It was an amazing experience that I'm sure I'll do again at some point. For now I'm just going to marinate in the knowledge that I am a marathoner.

Matthew 6:24

The question to ask myself is " is what I'm devoting my time and resources to something that can in return give me life?"

For me the answer is no. I've spent so much time attempting to set up this false sense of security that everything is ok because we have "fill in the blank" and most of the time I fill the blank with money. Im so obsessed with having a certain amount of money and stuff because in some twisted way I believe that when I reach a certain amount then we're secure from tragedy or disaster. I've grown up not trusting the fact that God would provide for my family because my view of provision was so distorted. I have for so long held the belief that if I had financial hardships then God wasn't providing for me. When if I took a bigger picture look at it, he's been keeping us floating for so long even though I haven't been faithful to him with the things he has entrusted me to be a good steward of. The message I've been getting from God very clearly is humility. I need to be more humble, because there isn't anything that I have, He hasn't given to me above and far beyond what I deserve, because the truth is based on my faithfulness to him, I deserve nothing, and I've been given so much. Sure I've worked hard to accomplish things, but without God I wouldn't have the ability to do any of those things. I have an amazing life, and it's about time I start realizing it and give thanks to the one who has given it to me. With the start of this Dave Ramsey study and Toby's new series 'Gravity' I'm in for a good bit of self examination, WHICH I HATE, because it usually means having to admit that I'm the problem and I can't blame it on anyone else. But, I can't change the past and I can't predict the future, so my goal is to live right now for Him and be obedient to the call He has put on my life. It won't be easy and I'll stumble before I get it right, but at least now I'm out there running towards the goal; literally and figuratively.

It's been a while

So it's been quite some time since I last posted. I know I said I was going to post everyday, but the best laid plans of mice and men... So here goes my first blog in quite a while.

Since we last spoke I completed my first 5k, and have begun training for my next race. The 5k was tough being my first race, it was hotter than expected and I made the rookie mistake of training only on flat terrain and the race course was much hillier than I anticipated. But, all in all it was a great experience; it was a goal I set and accomplished it. I was really surprised at how welcoming the community of racers was to an obvious beginner. Everyone was very encouraging before, during, and after the race. In those moments of the race where I felt like quitting someone would be there to give me a 'hey good job man, keep going!' I really loved the feeling after the race and was able to look back and say 'I did that' and I want to do it again. I took a week off from training; worst thing ever, because that week turned into 2 and getting back to my endurance pre-race is taking me forever. But today I got in a solid two miles that was pretty comfortable. My new goal is to Run the Rock with a marathon team. So if you're interested I've still got 3 spots left on the team. I've found that where I am with my running life I have to have goals in order to stay motivated, so now that is my ultimate motivation. I'm also planning on running at least one 5k in between now and then. So that's where I'm at with my fitness goals. I'm also down a total of 31 pounds since I started so that's pretty exciting and even in those days when I feel like I've failed by eating the wrong thing or skipping a workout I can know I'm still traveling down the road of success and accomplishment.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Catching Up

So I've been really bad about keeping up with posting. I think that maybe my goal of posting once a day was a bit of ambitious. I think that maybe once or twice a week might be a bit more do-able. So I'm going to try to catch you up on what's happened since my last post in regards to 5k training, general fitness, and my walk.

I'm going to wrap up my 3rd week of training tomorrow morning. I lost a week with our family vacation to San Antonio. I was hoping to get my two runs in while we were on vacation, however that didn't happen for a couple of reasons. One, we were up way too late to be able to get up at 5am to go for a run. Secondly, the housing development that our rental house was in lived up to the title of 'The Hill Country". I really think if I tried to run in that neighborhood I would have had a heart attack, stroke, or broken a bone of some sort. So I elected to sleep in late, it was my vacation, and will just have to make up the week somewhere else. Unfortunately, I just found out today that the race I was planning on running in as my first 5k was cancelled. So I've been told there will still be a "bandit run" on the same day but the official race was cancelled. So that's kind of a bummer, but I'm still training as normal and maybe I'll find some other official races to run in around the same time. I'm really excited just about the opportunity of getting out there and continuing to grow as a runner. It is starting to get better. I still have aches and pains out on the road, but I'm starting to enjoy those pains because to me it means that somethings growing or changing. I'm still waiting for the day that my physical endurance outlasts my cardio endurance, but that too will come in time. I'm enjoying the concept of being a 'runner', it gives me a bit of pride in myself and the accomplishment that being a runner means to me personally. I recently read an article on someone's blog about how a 5k is just a warm up run for real runners and isn't anything to brag about. I really enjoyed my run the next morning because the jack-waggon's article just fueled me and made me want to run all the more. For me a 5k will be a huge accomplishment for me when I get there.

Project 280 has been a roller-coaster the past two weeks. I had gotten down to 374, being a 25 lbs weight loss and I was on cloud nine. The next two weeks brought on weight gain of 9lbs taking me back to 383. I was so mad with myself for slipping up with a few fast food meals, and letting myself fall off the wagon. This week however was a good week. Yesterday when I weighed in it was 376, dropping back down to two pounds away from where I was and 6 lbs away from my 3 month goal of 370, giving me a week and a half to get down to my goal. I continue to find a sense of accomplishment in eating healthier and working out. I'm awarded by the weight loss, but just the feelings that I get when I wake up every morning knowing that I'm doing something for myself, my wife, and my future children so that I can be around for a long time and set a better example for my children (when they get here) so that they don't have to struggle with the same things that I have. I feel stronger, leaner, and just overall more fit. I don't feel the embarrassment that I once felt when I walked into the gym. I now walk in and feel proud that I'm there and as if to say to everyone there, 'yeah I'm not ripped, but just wait and I'll be there soon'.

My walk has been a bit more of a crawl the past couple weeks. Just as I haven't been making time to blog, I also haven't made time to spend in the word, and I've noticed it. I just haven't felt like my attitude has been the same and really haven't felt as close to God as I want. I have told myself that I've just got to do it. One thing that I've learned recently is that beating myself up over my mistakes doesn't help me avoid mistakes in the future. So, I'm not going to beat myself up, I'm just going to do things different in the future starting tomorrow. I'm going to start reading through Hebrews starting tomorrow, so if you want to join me I'll be spending a week on each chapter and will try to post about my readings on a regular basis.

I'd just like to say to all of you who read my blog and follow me on twitter and Facebook I really appreciate all the support and encouragement you give me, it really means a lot to me.

My personal run for freedom

Ok, so I told you that I would post about Ultimate 5k 2.1 and here it is. July 4th was a busy day for us as we had a good bit of errands and 'honey-dos' to get done as well as prepare a few dishes for the cookout later that afternoon. I decided that it would be a good idea to go ahead and get my run in 'early', and on the 3rd day of a 3 day weekend early came about 7am. So I got up strapped on my tune, laced up my shoes, and grabbed Addison (my trusty, 4-legged trainer) and headed out the door. Usually I run on the streets of our neighborhood and that gets the job done fine, today I decided 'it's not too hot, the sun's up I'm going to run around the pond/lake at our neighborhood 'it'll be a nice change of pace'. So I started out doing my thing and the first couple times around the pond no problem. As I was turning to make my 3rd lap around I came up behind a couple walking with their baby in a stroller. 'No big deal' I tell myself, I'll just go around them so as I start to make my way around them on the left side the woman stops and swings her stroller to the left. I have to stop and nearly run over Addison and tweak my ankle a little bit to keep from form tackling this woman and her baby. I stop myself and Addison and at this point no one needs to go to the ER. As I attempt to pass them on the right side of the side walk the man decides this would be the appropriate time to adjust the tightness of his shoe laces, so he stoops down to make the modification to his laces. Once again I throw on the breaks and stop myself. Now I'm not kidding anyone, I'm no Hussein Bolt, but when you get a freight train rolling at 2 mph you still can't stop it on a dime. So I avoid the couple and stroller booby trap. I make my way around the pond on my 3rd lap and as I'm on my final back stretch I notice a woman who appears to be in her late 50s early 60s, probably 120lbs soaking wet, walking a Newfoundland Hound that easily outweighs her in triples. It's warm outside and the small horse is no doubt hot, so what does this 'responsible' pet owner do, she walks down to the edge of the water and lets him get in the water. Awesome, we do this all the time with Addison, the difference here is that we keep Addison ON THE LEASH!! I see this massive whale of a dog in the water on the other side of the pond thinking to myself 'ah, no big deal he's all the way over there'. I learned a new lesson that day; small horses can swim really fast. That beast was over to our side of the pond in no time and was attempting to have his way with my little 35 pound wheaten. At this point I pull my earbuds out and hear this brittle old woman yelling 'come back sweet pea, come back' in about the most calm and soft voice you could think of; imagine your great grandmother reading you a bed time story, voice. I have two thoughts in the moment, punch the dog in the nose and send him scurrying off; which I wanted to do but his owner was in view and I didn't want to deal with that. So I enlisted our second option, RUN!! Addison and I took off in a dead sprint, which is great fun at the end of a workout, and we hauled it. Someone else came over and grabbed the mammoth of a dog and stopped him from his lustful pursuit of Addison. As I got near the woman she said 'I hope you and your dog are ok' to which I politely replied, 'yes man we are fine, but you know our neighborhood and the city of Denton have leash laws', 'oh yes son I know, and he has a leash on'. I didn't have the heart to tell her that a leash is only effective if there is some form of resistance on the other end of the leash. So we made our way back to the house where we both crashed for a few minutes before I got back up and began the rest of my to do list. I didn't anticipate all the antics of the morning but all in all it was a good run, it was a tough one being that it was my first back after 3 days off. I did however, feel like my legs are getting stronger and my cardio endurance is increasing. Maybe with this obstacle run I'll be ready for the spartan run my cousin Todd is doing in the fall.

'Never give up, never surrender'

Drew

Catching up

Ok so I was supposed to post a blog from last Wednesday's run and haven't gotten around to it yet so this will be my blog for last Wednesday and in the morning will catch up for today's missed post.

I love getting up at 5 in the morning and running into the sunrise. There's something invigorating about being out and doing when the day breaks. It's as if God himself is greeting you and saying 'well hello, look what all I have for you to see'. I can only think of a few other scenarios that would be more blissfully amazing than a sunrise run.

Now don't get me wrong yet the running part is still not great fun in terms of I still hey cramps and my legs get tired. And I'm not running down the PCH; it's just around the block or the pond in my neighborhood. But, here's the thing I've been learning: life isn't about wanting what you don't have, it's about finding the joy in what you do have. What I have is a beautiful neighborhood that God has blessed me with. I have an amazing dog to run with me that has also been a gift from God. I've also had the pleasure of getting to know a few more of my neighbors while out on my runs. But most importantly, I've had the joy of learning that God creates beauty in all of the nooks and crannies of life that we don't expect and they're just hiding out waiting for us to find them. Seeing the sunrise, in my mind, is like seeing God awaken His creation, myself included, for another day of worship. You can't help but be motivated and excited about the day when you see it start with the sunrise.

I look forward to many sunrise runs to come and the motivation that it continues to bring me.

This run concludes my first week of training. Ultimate 5k week 2 starts Monday.

Ultimate 5k 1.2

So this is the start of my first full week of training. I'm really excited about the benefit that starting my life as a runner will give me, but with every new thing there's a bit of trepidation. I'm really afraid that in a couple weeks I'll start loathing my workouts and won't want to get up. So right now I'm just trying to start making the habit of getting up every morning at 5am even on the days that I don't have a run scheduled. The program I'm doing right now has me doing three runs a week, with a break in between each one increasing in length and interval.

I'm super excited about the possibility of accomplishing something that I would have never, in a million years, thought I would've been able to; run a 5k. Forever I was 'the fat kid, and then the fat guy'. It's an identity that I took on and believed I would be for the rest of my life. I just believed that I would always be the fat guy who would just make jokes about my weight and try to make everyone else around me laugh and be light-hearted. What I came to realize in the past couple years is that I didn't like the person I was, I always wanted to be something or someone different. Much of the angst, bitterness, and negativity I've exhibited in my life to the people I rub elbows with was the inner-conflict within myself over who I am and who I wanted to be. But for the longest time I just blamed others for me not making the conscious decision to making a change.

April was my tipping point. For as long as we've been together Sarah and I have been telling one another "we need to be healthier" and done little things here or there but never really made a serious commitment or change in our lives. But, now we have and I really feel like I have this new found motivation, and it's lasted longer than I thought it would ever have. So I really feel like I can do this. I know I sound like a broken record in constantly saying "I really feel like I can do or accomplish this", but I keep saying it because I feel something different within me than I ever have before and thats the difference.

I'll close with this: we were at Valley Creek Church in FloMo this week, and the pastor there was speaking on Christ's restoration of Peter after his rejection of Christ and he made the point that in life sometimes God has to bring up our failures, even if it may mean us getting hurt in the now, to heal us for the future. That's where I feel with my life right now, I've been trying to hide a bunch of things about me and in my life, hoping that others wont know or see them. All that's done is caused me to be a bitter, negative person. So now making my hurts open to God and exploring my path to allowing God to heal me.

Honesty and Openness

Drew